Tuesday, September 15, 2009

Michael Steele, Your Ship Is Sailing Without You...


  1. Dear anti-NRSC dudes,

    Ever since I took control of the party this year, I have been waiting for someone like you to challenge me! You made a big mistake my homies. My goal has been simple; to make sure we pick candidates who appeal to everyone. I could have put up a better fight in da NY-20, but that's OK, as we can do better next year. With you guys challenging both me and Senator Cornyn (he was a judge, you know), you are making it impossible for me to lead this party.

    I said I would focus on winning the East Coast and West Coast. How so? Simply enough, we will pick and endorse the candidates that we want, so you primary voters don't have to wallow through this gobbledyguk of "grassroots", "principles" and "throwing the bums out". Crist, Kirk, and Castle are the new, fresh and young candidates that I have poured my Benjamins into.

    My judgement works wonders in incumbent red states as well. Bob Bennett of Utah needs the all the support he can after cheering for President Barack H. Obama's thinly veiled insult against Sarah Palin last week. As for Kansas, forget Moran and Tiahrt, we can run Bob Dole again. WE need the money to show President Barack H. Obama that we mean business. We need to show him that we're ready to work with him. Perhaps then people will vote for us. Can you dig it?

    The RNC needs YOUR support. We can remake this party into it's optimum potential. With a contribution of at least $2,000, you can receive an "I (Heart) Bipartisan Republicans" nylon shopping bag to show your love for our candidates and Mother Earth at the same time. If David Cameron and his Conservatives can do it, then why shouldn't we?

    Your buddy,

    Michael Steele

  2. Anonymous has about said it all :-)

  3. christian soldier- My satire knows no limits.

    From what I have observed on this site, the beauty of grassroots activism is that money doesn't always have to be an issue in getting a candidate noticed, if not elected. Case in point, Jason Chaffetz. Although some people have their doubts about Wikipedia, I did read about Rep. Chaffetz of Utah on the page. His primary opponent was incumbent Chris Cannon in 2008. Chaffetz whipped Cannon 60-40 percent in the primaries, despite Cannon's bags of money, newspaper endorsements, party support and backing of Senators Bob Bonehead and Orrin Hatchling as well as Pres. Bush. Grassroots support paid off for Chaffetz and I believe that it will work wonders for Rubio.

    I'm glad to know that Mark Levin endorses "our guy" and not that skinny Oompa-Loompa Crist. By the way, I'm from Nevada and there is a huge selection of candidates ready to take Harry Reid's seat. Everyone from lawyers (Chuck Kozak), doctors (Robin Titus), bloggers (Mark Noonan) and former college athletes (Danny Tarkanian). I'm personally fond of former Assemblywoman Sharron Angle, who has been endorsed by the Republican Liberty Caucus in the past. Knowing Cornyn's judgment skills (all 0% of them), he'll either endorse former Governor Kenny Guinn who is somewhat of a moderate or Danny Tarkanian, because of his name recognition. I can't wait for Hutchison to leave so that Michael L. Williams can take over. He'll be the smart half for Texas.